NAIJA NO DEY GREE HEAR WORD

One thing I've come to realize as a Nigerian is that no matter how vast you create awareness for a cause, there will be defaulters ...



One thing I've come to realize as a Nigerian is that no matter how vast you create awareness for a cause, there will be defaulters of the memo.

My case in point is the group of women who either subject themselves or have become victims of modern slavery being offered under the platform of marriage, the Nigerian type of marriage. It burns me right from the inside each time I see a woman with more than two children, meander the streets of Lagos or any other densely-populated area ON FOOT! The more worrisome category are pregnant women and nursing mothers who literally have to endure the torture of the unfriendly streets, harsh weather and what's more, two or more restless children who could unexpectedly veer off course into the direction of a violent passer-by or distracted motorist - all while journeying ON FOOT!

For the love of God, at what point will you people realize the urgent need to either get a car or ask your husbands to provide theirs, if any? Why subject yourselves to such level of discomfort and later excuse your situation by claiming to have signed a "for better for worse" agreement with your husbands? In 2017? No, you've got to be freaking kidding me.

You need to understand the volatility of the country in which you live and make informed decisions along those lines. You don't go lumping three or four children on rickety commercial buses like those in Lagos for example. Well, you might be lucky to have people offer to "lap" your kids on the bus and save you extra transport fare but what happens when your fellow passengers turn out to be cold-blooded? You also need to understand that Nigeria has transformed some people into conduits of frustration and resentment. So, you might meet some passengers who on seeing your pregnant status or multiple companions (children), turn a blind eye and watch you labor through the stress of containing your situation.

Trust me, it's not something I'd ever wish to see my wife go through. If I can't afford to get her a car or provide her with mine for outings involving the kids, then I have no business transforming her into a mobile baby factory. I'd keep my hyperactive balls in my pants and hustle till I'm able to provide adequate comfort for her and the kids.

In this life, especially in Nigeria, you need to run away from men who insist you must be a stay-at-home-wife when it's clear they can't comfortably provide for you. If he's indeed well to do, then he's free to call the shots, provided they're in tandem with your vision too. Otherwise, get to work, make money, plenty of it, so you can buy yourself a great deal of comfort - like a car for example.

Lumping your children on rickety commercial buses oughtn't be a "survival skill", unless your own education is a complete waste. Uneducated people aren't even excused from this because there are lots of life lessons you don't learn in school, one of which involves the provision of absolute comfort. If you personally decide to jump public buses, good for you. Nobody can question you for subjecting yourself to such situation. But if you lump three of more children....

.... Let me just stop here.

I've said enough already.

Sha be comfortable in true comfort and not deceptive comfort. 🌚

Damzy.




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