TALES FROM THE EARLY MORNING BUS I

TALES FROM THE EARLY MORNING BUS - I ******************** PASSENGER: Conductor abeg gimme my change CONDUCTOR: Madam I go gi...


TALES FROM THE EARLY MORNING BUS - I

********************

PASSENGER: Conductor abeg gimme my change

CONDUCTOR: Madam I go give you change, no be last bus stop you dey drop?

PASSENGER: That one no concern me, na for last bus stop I give you money?

CONDUCTOR: abeg no disturb me...*continues mumbling*

PASSENGER: Dey curse me dey go. Until I use teeth tear your prick comot for your body, you go know sey no be ordinary person you dey follow drag am

*********************

At this, the conductor who'd maintained a wide-based stance slowly began to scissor his legs, reached for a pocket compartment I never even knew existed, and handed the woman 750 naira.

That was how a warrior lost the battle to a potential prick tearer.

*********************

ME: *turns back to look at the woman*

PASSENGER: *she fires me a hostile look as though she meant to say "wetin? you wan die for am?"*

ME: *turns away quickly*

*********************

On a normal day, I might have asked the woman a few questions. But not today, I just couldn't stomach the thoughts of suffering a violent castration at the hands of a remorseless woman.

Better to lose a verbal war than a penis.

Thanks to the gift of wisdom, I dodged a bullet.


Damzy.

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