On countless occasions where the topic of rape was discussed in Nigeria, there were individuals who vehemently or subtly hinted that in...

On countless occasions where the topic of rape was discussed in Nigeria, there were individuals who vehemently or subtly hinted that indecent dressing was a DEFENDABLE prerequisite to rape. Some people, especially the educated ones, still try to push this narrative till today and often make excuses for rapists citing human weakness and all sorts of jargon.

Read my lips, that's absolute crap.

Now, if we were to go by that barbaric logic, then it means that men whose penises and ball sacs can be traced from their pants/trousers also render themselves susceptible to rape. Fair enough? Okay.

If you agree that women who dress "indecently" are to be blamed for being raped but disagree that men who expose their schlongs aren't susceptible to rape, then you're a conduit of double standards. I mean, how do you even begin to explain that jargon?

Look, as men, we all know it takes skill and tactical approach to properly conceal our balls in our pants. I know some of you do it on purpose - expose your penile lines and assume the image of a buoyant grandfather clock. And I also understand some of you have horse-sized balls down there but trust me, there's always a way around it. There's hardly a day that goes by without me spotting a defaulter. Hey! Nobody sets out to observe people's balls (even though some do) but what choice is there when these sightings literally jump in your face? I used to be a defaulter but eventually sought help from the Internet.

It becomes even more difficult to pack your balls if you're the type who loves tailored/slim-fitted pants. Still, you have options:

- wear elastic fabric
- wear firm briefs instead of boxers
- manoeuvre your balls in such a way that nothing becomes visible through your pants
- pad it with foam

Please, stop embarrassing yourselves and confusing innocent women in the process. In fact, as men, we ought to be thankful that women don't have the kind of violent sexual predispositions and fantasies that some of us do. Else, the global rape ratio might have been equal by now.

A fool says to himself, "if a woman rapes a man, it's a win-win situation."

The hell it isn't. You may die if you fall into the wrong hands. Rape is never a good thing, irrespective of the victim's gender. But today's topic is not primarily about rape, so let's focus on indecent dressing among men.

Imagine if a task force was established to publicly flog/cane defaulters of "wrong packing" like they flog women perceived to be indecently dressed in countries like Saudi Arabia, Yemen and co? I bet many of us men would start taking the matter seriously. In fact, imagine if the punishment for "wrong packing" were penile immolation, that is, having your balls set ablaze? Oh! You're holding your balls right now because you can't stomach the thought?

Good. I guess I made my point clear.

Ladies, I apologize for this x-rated content of this post. No be sey una never kuku grab the thing for hand before sef


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