I came across some posts on a news platform a few days ago and it's got me befuddled ever since. Sometimes, we complicate things for ourselves in this Nigeria, particularly during social interactions. The same people who enjoin others to "come out straight from the start" and "be real" are the same ones who would post screenshots of their conversations with toasters in a bid to assume the persona of a goddess.
I find it creepy and at best, childish. It's even more worrisome when I see these anomalies being displayed by older women. I mean, how hard can it get? Why put yourself out there like that? Why deride the men who were courageous enough to launch into your inbox just because you want to pass a self-alluding message to the public?
I don't know if you've been told otherwise but in the real sense of it, the joke is on you.
I also don't get it with women who still play the "hard to get" game for the men they like. Read the end of previous sentence properly, "for the men they like". There's absolutely nothing wrong in discarding conversations with people you're not attracted to. In fact, that is perhaps when your "hard to get" skills must be fully activated. Point it out from the beginning that you're not interested in whatever the toaster is proposing. But if you channel the same "hard to get" energy towards the man you like, then you might have yourself to blame in the end. You need to understand that humans are social animals and the advent of Internet vis-a-vis social media has somewhat enlightened a lot of people - part of which predisposes them to having short attention spans in pre-courtship phases due to the availability of multiple options.
Are you one of those who thinks playing hard to get is what keeps a man in the long run? Read my lips, I'm sorry for you.
Are you one of those who thinks a man who "really wants you" must be able to wait for no matter how long until you're ready to date them? Hmmm. I have no words for you.
However, I think I must tell you some major disadvantages of this "hard to get" thing:
- there are men who are willing to "punish" you in unimaginable ways for the simple fact that you showed them hell before agreeing to date them. These men are the ones that give you everything you ask of them, absolve your insults and whatever humiliation you bring upon them in the pre-courtship phase. But once they get in, you are finished.
- playing hard to get could ultimately relegate you to the position of a side chick with the same man who was once head over heels in love with you. You see, it's not rocket science. You don't expect a man to rent a self-contain in your DM or turn your phone number to his motto/mantra. While you spent several months playing games with his feelings, he might have searched for alternatives - which he would get in most cases. And when that happens, you become his second choice at a point where you've realized it's time you consent to his advances. See how it works now?
- don't you feel heartbroken when the man whom you liked but twisted and turned for several months ends up in the hands of another woman? So, what becomes of your "hard to get" game? Who loses?
I could enumerate more disadvantages but have decided to stop here. I just find it difficult to understand women who complain all over social media about men, knowing full well they caused it in the first place. Nobody has time for nonsense please. And those that do, are fast-becoming extinct. Thankfully.
Am I saying "hard to get" is unnecessary? Certainly not. But there must be limits. Catch the wave when it's still popping and fresh, not when the energy must have fizzled out.
The Victorian age ended long ago. Today, there are consequences of time wasting.
Nobody really has that time any longer.💁