I remember the day my Father mysteriously asked me, "Why don't you become a Reverend Father?"

He was driving at about the time he popped the question and I must confess, I became constipated afterwards. The silence that followed the question was at the very least deafening. This was a man whom only few minutes earlier, had advised me to be careful with the kind of girls I associated with but there he was speaking another language entirely.

I was 15 or thereabout but my whole life began to flash before my eyes. I started thinking about the children I never had. Then came the thoughts of an imaginary wife, though I was still as single as a needle. I looked at my Father again as though I meant to say "how could you do this to me?" He knew he'd punctured a vein but he pushed further.

"I've been thinking about it.......maybe next weekend.......so that we'll go and make enquiries about seminaries and......"

The constipation grew worse. My legs dangled and I could feel my intestines wrangle. Discussing with my mum was totally out of the question, unless of course Nigeria was ready to contain the civil war that would ensue when a beautiful middle-aged YΓ³rΓΉbΓ  woman decided she was going to scatter everywhere.

"Daddy.......I don't think the seminary is for me. I'm not qualified......"

"You don't have to be qualified.......they will train all of you...."

I was losing the battle and it was clear. At that point, all I could think of was forcefully dispossessing him of the car steering and plunging us into a big ditch or something like that. But then, that would have been ghastly. I was still young. I still wanted to enjoy life. So I devised another means, the one I knew too well would yield results.

"Okay sir....let me tell my mum about it first......"

"Don't worry, no need to tell her anything.....maybe we'll talk about it some other time"

It's been more than a decade and my Father still hasn't said anything. I'm a Catholic, I know the Order of Priesthood is quite challenging and sacrosanct but I sabi myself. My spirit no strong reach that side.

My Father wanted to give me hypertension that day but he failed.

Emi omolomo! Emi ajigijaga!