Nygerian Diaries

DIARIES





Monday Nov 9th 2015- DEAR MONDAY,






Today was one of the most stressful days at work fam. It’s like, the more we grow and expand the more headache! I’m going mad trying to balance all our creative accounts with our tight staff but hopefully some good prospects how up tomorrow at the interviews. I still don’t know how Femi does it man. I’m proud of him, taking over dad’s New York headquarters and all, but I’m tired of doing everything the Sanjo way.  I feel bad leaving mom back in Manchester especially with dad in Nigeria but I needed to follow my own path for once. You get me? It’s exciting living with my big brother again. Sometimes, man felt like the only child back in Manchester. Ya know, dad or mom never had time to chat over a sports match or reminisce about our childhood. like, I respect my brother...honestly. It takes guts to just get up and leave home and carry out your father's dream but I’m not Femi, I’am not the poster first born; I’m Adeyemi creative at heart, with just the eye of a businessman.
-AdeYemi


Guess who got an interview with Bazaar Inc. tomorrow?! Me of course! I'm sooo excited! Can't wait to tell my mom so she can pray for me…then again she’s going to call the whole entire family and they will all start calling me and blessing me. Oh Mom! Gotta love her though. I almost forgot, I need to call Oye about those pictures we took for the blog. “Hijab fashion.” Walaye, nobody can style a hijab like me! My mom thinks I should start wearing one all the time now… she even has my dad on me about it. I’ll think about it though. I mean it's not something I can just get up and do, it’s a commitment I need to be certain about and I just don’t know if I’m there yet. Speaking of there yet…my blog hit 1,000 views last night!! Now I’m getting even more emails from companies and bloggers who want to collab. That calls for celebration. I’m out to Baobab cuz that Dibi is calling my name!
-Siri


Black girls are so stupid. Can you believe this girl in my graduate (oui grad school) had the nerve to try and tell me she’s native American or Indian or something- like seriously? Universities really need to require DNA background testing for students just so these females can understand that they are from African decent. Straight out of Africa! I can definitely go around saying to people I’m Italian or Native American, even Hispanic, but I'M NOT. My mom is French and my father is Ivorian. No Cherokee over here. ‘Mais nooooooon’ A girl will have the most ethnic of last names or the most African nose in the world and will still tell you her grandmother was Cherokee. Twww even the president of the United States knows he’s Kenyan. That’s not the worst part. She came over to me after class with that corny “hey Jean, I really like the insights you bring to class, can we study sometime?” pourquoi? So she can contaminate we with her ignorance? Ca va.
-Jean Paul


J.P is just never on time! Ever since middle school, if Jay says he'll be somewhere at 6:00, just pray he gets there 6:30,  if not damn near 7:00. It's so annoying, then this kwasiasem thinks he can walk in, smile, and start talking in his cute little French accent and everything is cool. That worked back then, but after 11 years of dealing with my best friend, it's getting very old. It’s not enough he leaves the toilet seat down all the time, or his toothbrush out on the sink…the boy can never be on time! I did miss him though, I can't believe my bestie is finally in New York, getting his masters and everything. Chale! It is now 6:40 and if this boy doesn’t get here within the next 5 minutes, I’m ordering my jollof to go! I’m sitting here in Accra looking like a fool and if one more cab driver tries to hit on me, I’m turning up! I have a lab to write so he can meet me at home.
-Adwoa


Tuesday Nov 10th 2015- EXES, JOLLOF & NETFLIX


I'm going to be completely honest here and say that I do not understand the whole Nigerian-Ghanaian jollof war thing. I love my best friend (who happens to be Ghanaian) and I think she's a wonderful cook but I Don't even understand who made these two countries the front runners...okay maybe Ghana can stay- But Senegal has the best Jollof rice-because Senegalese people invented the Jollof. Even the word "Jollof" is derived from the term "wolof" which is a language of Senegal, the Gambia, and Mauritania as well as the language of the Wolof people. We've always went to senegalese restaurants for their tiep. In France, this logical makes sense... In New York ?! C'est meme pas la peine! I said these same words around Adwoa and her friends and I was almost murdered. Merde! It's like nobody wants to listen. But now I know not to ever put my two sense into such issues. I'm not saying that they don't all taste good, I'm just saying it's all very different. Maybe I need some more male friends to play football with or something (another thing i don't get about Americans... How can they refer to american football as 'football' and real football as 'soccer' when they don't even use their feet? America is honestly as backwards as they come) because this girl and her friends are very draining. Or maybe I just need to find a girlfriend for days like today! PRIME Netflix and chill weather and I'm here arguing about rice with Adwoa and co.
-Jean Paul

I was so nervous today! The rain threw me off a bit but the interview went super well. I walked into this beautiful building downtown where even the security seemed to know I was coming. They directed me to Ms. O’Connor who is the head of human resources there. IDK, but for some reason I actually felt like Bazaar was somewhere I could see myself walking into everyday. After the interview, which went so well she didn’t even wait to tell me I got the job, she took me around the office and introduced me to all the important people at the firm. I met my supervisor and oh boy!… he will probably be the youngest boss I’ve ever had. He’s also not bad looking either. His name is Adeyemi, but everyone calls him Ade. When I say chocolate…He’s chocolate, tall, dresses really well and that British accent had me in and out of our conversation. He’s like a young idris elba. Anyway, hot boss or no hot boss, I’m not going to let that distract me from what I’m here to do. Im super excited for what's to come and I hope Allah blesses me on this journey...
It's crazy how you can be in such a good mood and then everything just comes crumbling down. My mom is already in my ear about how I should start working on building a family now that I’m getting older. Her and Dad just can't wait to get me out of the house. And to Moussa? Why? Because his dad helped mine when he first got to the US? What age are we living in when helping a friend means recruiting his daughter for your son? I don’t want to disappoint my parents but i'm not sure how I feel about this.
-Siri

Chale! This Wey Gyimi wants to talk jollof? Let me ever get up and say I will cook for this clown again! He's not serious! And I hate it when he comes with all this historic textbook bull crap...who cares? Zimbabwe could have invented jollof rice for all I care, the point of the matter is that we make it better. It's not enough that these Nigerians with their brolic ass rice grains will tell you their rice is better than yours...I have my best friend (who's not even from Senegal!!)  Trying to tell me that Senegalese rice is better. Twwwww ...like how do you Kanye West a conversation you're not even relevant in?!...any who, guess who text me just now? KWAME! Son, I'm convinced that once these dudes find themselves bored or lonely in Nexchill weather (yup that means exactly what you think it means), they think it's cool to hit up every female on their contact list...including ex girlfriends! Smh he can miss me with that. I'm about to Textbook & Chill!

-Adwoa

WOW. That’s all I have to say about the new girl. Siri… I don’t remember the last time I’ve ever come across such a beauty. She's fit FAM! As soon as O’Connor walked in my office with her I practically froze up. The poker face usually comes easy for me but when a girl like that walks into your office, shit, who knows what the hell I was doing. The girl has one of the most beautiful smiles I've ever seen & that's all she kept doing -smiling! FOCUS ADE!!!…You’re her boss!! But why brov?! As If my day wasn't crazy enough, Mom and Dad both called me today begging me to come home and even bribing me to do so. I told them that ever since I got to this firm, our clients have doubled and I’ve already gotten a promotion so No thanks. That shut dad up! I honestly just want to have fun, check out the NYC art scene and most def the Afrobeats scene as well. I heard the parties here are MAdd!!! -Femi is alway talking about Dj Tunez, YB, Obi1, AK, can't even name them all - Apparently there's an all black party but that's not even till a few weeks.
Brovvv Tanisha will not leave me alone! I broke things off with her weeks before I left but the gal is still snapping me some next level flix!! 

The old me would have hopped on the next flight out ya get me?! but I've got to let that go---TRUST!!
-Ade

Wed Nov 11th - THE BOATENGS


THIS IS WHY I DON’T RESPECT WOMEN WHO DON’T RESPECT THEMSELVES…Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom, but I just can't respect her at this point. Like HOW?? HOW can she stay with him? After all these years, all these countries, all these alleged children and she still stays by his side, proud to be Mrs. Boateng. My dad has been a diplomat for years. Every couple of years, were packing up and changing homes. I thought I was living the life, perfect parents, friends from all over the world and sure we didn’t have a stable home but we stayed together and that’s all that mattered. Paris was where I met my best friend; Beijing bought the three of us closer together but Egypt is where my family fell apart. A lady stopped my mom and I in Cairo asking to speak with her. I’ve never seen my mom so devastated in my life. I think she almost died when the lady touched her stomach. I was old enough to understand what was going on. I thought she stayed because of me. I appreciated that and I loved them for working it out but when it continued throughout several countries and I could see the love lost between them, it just seemed pointless to me. She was like one of those  girls I made fun of for going back to the same guy that treats her like shit over and over again. She was my mother though. Dad and I hardly even speak now. Nothing he can say or do can fix what he’s done to our family. I hated him for it. I hated the fact that he got to still have a wife by his side and parade us around like the perfect family as he did his dirt on the side. I guess you see now why I can’t stand men. My mother's  been trying to tell me she’s in town and wants to see me but you know what the funny this is? I asked her to stay with me in New York- so that we can start a new here, have a stable life and not have to deal with dads bull…do you know what this lady did? She dubbed me to follow her cheating husband around. Now she’s in town…now she wants to see me.
-Adjoua


She JUST needs to calm down. I’m not saying that she shouldn’t have the feelings that she does but it’s her mother Bon Dieu ! Madame Boateng has been calling me for the last few days trying to get me to talk to her daughter. I hate seeing my best friend like this. She’s such a strong person but when it comes to her family, she breaks down. I remember Paris with Jo, she was so happy. She was so happy with them.They fit together you know, she seems to add so much joy to their lives, even though her father was a diplomat, he always made time for her. She loved her dad. Back then, she couldn’t wait to get married so he could walk her down the aisle and have their father daughter dance. There was a time I pictured myself as her husband too, dancing to Ghanaian music, being apart of such a family, getting to travel the world to visit them and not having to deal with all these stupid student visas and time limits here and there. We were young then. Now Jo is so cold. Somewhere in her is that same old Jo. The Jo I almost fell in love with. Perhaps it’s a good thing because after 11 years, we’ve been one of the few consistent things in each other’s lives. Wherever she moved, I was there via Skype, phone calls, & sometimes even making a trip to see her. I wanted to show her that there are some true men out there. I wanted to show her that not every man would hurt her. She’s always been there for me as well. When my father died, she came to cote d’ivoire for all the ceremonies. I’ve honestly never met a girl like her before. I’ve never had such a friendship with anyone either. She’s letting me stay with her in New York until I get things together. It's fun living with your best friend you know but not when you’re actually living through one of her most emotional moments.I'm so used to being there over the phone or texts, but to see it, experience it, live it...c'est dure. Madame Boateng and I are planning Jo a dinner for her birthday on Saturday so they need to make up by then. I used to be soo good a convincing this girl to do anything. This task is really going to test this.

-Jean Paul



Thursday Nov 12th - GOOD STUFF

This girl is freaking Godsend brov! She's literally a breath of fresh air.. I mean that I every way. Talented is an understatement but her professionalism is something else. Did I ever mention her smile? Anyway, having her on the team has been great. Even in her onboarding meetings she just adds so much insights ... All I need is about three more versions of her and this firm is good to go! I actually ran into an old friend last night at a bar with some coworkers! Jean Bloody Paul!!! We met one year on one of our family vacations in Paris keeping in touch here and there. It's honestly just good to have an old friend around. Ever since I've gotten to New York it's just been work and home and hanging with Femi when we have the time. Jay is actually staying with his best friend Jo in Harlem. I've always thought those two would be married with kids by now but Kudos to the both of them for such an amazing friendship.
-Ade


-Siri


I hate them both!! Why does she always have to get JP involved in everything? So much for a best friend who can never truly be on my side! He can never find fault in that woman. Anyway, Mom and I are meeting up for dinner tonight. Pray for me!
-Adwoa

Sooo...turns out I still have the Midas touch! Jo is meeting with Madame Boateng tonight and I hope and pray they make up. I kind of need that to happen so that her birthday dinner is a success. But guess what?! I think I just met the most beautiful girl in the world today at school...Smooth brown skin, short natural hair with a blond streak, and the body of a goddess. I almost couldn’t think straight just staring at her. Her name is Krissy,  from Benin- I could tell from a T-shirt she wore. I have to talk to that girl! I will make it my mission.

- Jean Paul



Friday Nov 13th 2015 PRAY FOR PARIS



-Ade

 

MERDE!!! 
Pierre!! Answer the Damn Phone!!! 

-Jean Paul


 
-Siri

Nygerian